is this a good short essay?
carebear asked:
Lengthening the school day
Picture this- the alarm clock goes off and you tumble out of bed. You eat breakfast and get ready for school. This may seem familiar to you, but today something will happen; Today you will have a longer school day. For most students the average year consists of about 180 days and each day consists of about 6 hours. For some students this is already enough school but now people are starting to ponder the idea for longer school days.
In my opinion, I am against the longer school days. My first reason is because by the end of the day kids are dozing off in class. The reason for this is most kids are either bored or tired, so they have a hard time focusing. If we have longer school days, students will have a harder time focusing because of the extra time. Some parents think that by the end of the day we are more focused, but for most students this is the opposite. Since students will not stay focused in classes at the end of the day, the extra time will go to waste.
Next, the longer school days will cost extra money. According to The New York Times article, “And of all the steps school districts take to try to improve student achievement, lengthening the day is generally the costliest- an extra $1,300 a student annually.” Also, teachers and other school staff members would have to stay longer during the school day. This means teachers’ salaries would have to be increased, raising costs even more. For most school districts money for schools is hard to get and the extra time will be another expense. In addition to fund this program taxpayers will have to pay extra money to support the schools.
Last, for most students though getting up early in the morning is hard; if we have longer school days this task will become even harder. This is because for most students we are fitting in our after-school activities, our sports, our homework and our studying which will makes our life even more complicated; and we will be up late trying to finish everything in time. By, working so hard students will become overtired and have a harder time learning and focusing in school.
In conclusion, the next time we her about longer school days we should think, will the longer time really benefit the students? My opinion is no, because students do not need extra time they need their time to be spent being taught by teachers higher quality lessons. Although, we do need to improve the standard testing scores I think we should look for other ways to do this.
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Filed Under Other - Education |
Tagged With Harder Time, Sports, Student Achievement
Comments
One Response to “is this a good short essay?”
You wrote “now people are starting to ponder the idea for longer school days.” However, it should be something like “now people are beginning to consider the option of longer school days.”
“Starting to ponder” sounds straight out of Beverly Hillibillies. Let me guess, you’re from the South, right?
“According to the New York Times article” is stupid. You can say “According to a New York Times article” but when you use the word “the” it’s like there’s only one article ever written. Can’t you give credit to the author? “According to a recent New York Times article by Martha Beasley…”
I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. It needs work and I’m not going to show you all the errors for a measly 2 pts.